***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
