My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
