I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
