The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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