Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Randomize
