I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
