New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
