Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize