If that was your dad, he is hot
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Mom said you looked used
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
