Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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