So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
