i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
