I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
