It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
