just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
