Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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