I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
