On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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