Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
