one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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