Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
