i will never coherently bang her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
