he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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