The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
