Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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