Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
