nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and she was petting her beer can
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
