i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
