Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
