We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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