youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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