I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize