Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
