um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
