this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
