I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
