ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize