He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
be right there i have to get my cape
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize