grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
