Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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