The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
