It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
