omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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