Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
