Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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