**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
