Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
