yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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