We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
