Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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