I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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