PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
