just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize