Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
