Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize