I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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