Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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