I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
