Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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